My sweet Rayleigh is not doing very well as of late. She has started having tonic clonic seizures. These seizures are also known as grand mal seizures. They affect the entire brain. She starts by slowing tensing her entire body and curling into a very tight ball - which makes it more difficult for me to get the VNS magnet on her battery. Then after 10 seconds or so of tensing she finally relaxes, BREATHES, and then goes into the clonic phase of the seizure. For Bug, right now that means rapid eye blinking, chewing motion with mouth, sometimes clenching her teeth and sometimes twitching her hands. It is a very dangerous seizure that lasts a couple of minutes on average for Bug. These minutes are terrifying and every move I make is calculated: using the magnet, getting rescue meds close and ready, making sure she doesn't hold her breath too long, consoling her. These seizures have already taken away her ability to hold her sippy cup all by herself. She also went through a loss of appetite recently and her sleep pattern has been off for some time (though we're not sure yet if those are related).
Please send prayers that we are able to get these under control for her soon so they don't do too much more damage or get worse! Thank you!!
On a happier note, Rayleigh Bug seems happier through the day! Although she is going through a phase where she won't/can't smile as easy, I can tell what she likes and know when she's happy. She is really soaking up snuggles right now which I can't complain about!
I don't really know what else to say at this point. There is a lot happening in our world and I will share about that soon. I suppose now, while Rayleigh is asleep, I should get some shut eye because I'm sure she'll be awake around 4am again tonight - at least it's a happy-awake and not uncomfortable baby!
I know, many think that is a lame excuse. Heck, I used to think so, too. But is absolutely the truth.
I think all moms, whether they are special needs moms, stay at home moms, working moms, moms of 7 boys or moms of 1 precious little girl, are always doing something. No, make that women in general. I saw last week on The Doctors that women are less likely to make time to do hobbies, take a bubble bath, or relax in front of the television because women feel the constant need to accomplish something to get ahead, to tick off the checklist. I don't know for sure if every women feels that but I can tell you that that describes me.
For me, there is rarely "spare time". From the moment I wake up I am taking care of something. Today was a treat, I enjoyed lunch and a quick shopping trip with my sister-in-law. It was much needed! But most days, when I drop Bug off at school I head to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription, or go buy baby food, call doctors or insurance companies, or come home and work on CutieBug party decorations. I will admit, my life is very routine. That's the way we need it. I don't think anything would get done if it wasn't so routine, so predictable.
Anyway, my biggest excuse is that if I have time to sit down and write a blog post then I should use that time to work on party decorations, or do some in-home therapy with Bugaboo. So, I compromised. I have Buggie snuggled up in the blanket on the couch next to me while I do this post before her dinner.
So here's a quick breakdown of the recent months: Bug's seizures are not controlled. She is having anywhere from 5-15 a day. It really varies. In the last week she hasn't had more than 10 a day. We did a VNS adjustment last month, same strength but pulsing more often. That helped a little but not a lot so almost 3 weeks ago we increased her Vimpat medicine by a half a pill. She went through her usual adjustment period, still kind of going through it actually, messed up sleeping pattern, random-seeming mood swings, all that jazz. But the seizures are going down so we will stick with it a bit longer and see what's really going on.
I'll try and post again shortly. I'll just add it into my routine ;)
