The Results Are In!

I won't leave you hanging

Rayleigh received a diagnosis today.
She has CDKL5.

Now I'll start at the beginning of today's doctor appointment.

Bug had a appointment today with her pediatric epileptologist and the genetic team he works with. This was a routine visit but we would be discussing the genetic disorder CDKL5. We assumed we would have to redraw Bug's blood to redo the test because the results were still not in.

We saw the genetics team first and they went over her medical history since her last genetics visit which was over a year ago. Then they asked about the CDKL5 results and we explained to them how we had been calling the neuro office and the lap weekly for the results. We went into all the details that I wrote about in this blog post... and this post. The geneticist sent out a member of his team to call the lab that her blood was sent to directly. When she returned she said that they just finished the test yesterday and they are faxing the results over RIGHT NOW! I was shocked and I'm pretty sure Michael's jaw hit the floor. Definitely not the news we expected!

While waiting for the results to arrive we went ahead and saw the epileptologist. He said that we need to come up with a new plan of action on Bug's treatment because his goal, no matter what the results, is to get Bug to zero seizures and zero side effects - a high goal but he wants to get as close to achieving it as we can! He advised us to go ahead and get Rayleigh Bug off the Ketogenic Diet. He believes (as do we) that it is now doing more harm than good. Obviously her seizures aren't controlled and on the diet her reflux and other tummy issues are off the charts. I'll do a separate post on quitting the Keto Diet.

The epileptologist also wants us to go up on the Vimpat, a week after getting off the diet, and stay at the current, lower Lamictal dose. Bug is doing better with the lower Lamictal - taking naps more, much happier through the day, and eating well!

Then he excused himself for a few minutes to check with genetics on the results of her test.

When he returned he was accompanied by the entire genetics team. They wasted no time in telling us that the results are in and she does have the genetic mutation. A member of the team handed me the following paper:

The final report was done yesterday, October 1, 2012, and the mutation on CDKL5 is on her p.Q347X. I will do a seperate blog post on the specifics of CDKL5. In short, it is a genetic disorder that presents seizures and severe developmental/cognitive delays that usually start within the first year of life. The seizures are generally difficult to control and there is currently no treatment or cure.

For more information visit the International Foundation for CDKL5 Page.

This news was not surprising to us. I think we've known, or felt, that this is what Rayleigh has since the day months ago that a dear friend let us know that their daughter was diagnosed with CDKL5.

I've been a part of the CDKL5 group on Facebook since we started raising money to have this test done and I have felt like family from day one of joining but now I know my baby Bug belongs to that group.

The geneticists and epileptologist were all impressed at how well we took the news and how knowledgeable we were about CDKL5 and what the diagnosis means. It's reassuring to know that Rayleigh has such an amazing group of people that love her and care for her and know just how amazing and strong she truly is.

I got a little emotional after the group of doctors left the room to gather papers for us. Not because Bug has CDKL5. But because this has been such a trying journey and now we have our answer. All the testing, all the questioning, all the insurance crap, we have a diagnosis. We have our answer.

They call those that are diagnosed with CDKL5 "angels" and I think we can all agree that Bug is just another sweet angel.

The Search for Information

Today started off on a bad note as does this post. Michael woke up feeling under the weather so he went to sleep in the other room so he wouldn't get Bug or I sick. Then when we woke Bug up to get ready for her doctor appointment with Dr. Coleman she had a seizure. Doesn't get much worse.

If you don't already know, our pediatric neurologist is Dr. Coleman, his office is located in the Baptist Medical Building in OKC.

Dr. Coleman said that since she is continuing to have seizures but responding to the Phenobarbital he would like to up her dose to 12ml. He wants us to give her 6ml twice daily rather than the full 12ml at night. So tonight we will give her 12ml to make up for the missing lapse that we'll encounter when switching to 6ml twice a day.

We got an explanation for why she had such a major breakthrough while on Phenobarb if he believes this medicine is the right one for her. He said that Phenobarb is an anti-convulsant medication that goes in to fix the root of the problem, often after a patient has been taking it routinely for a long period of time the body may recognize the Phenobarb as a threat and in a sense, attack itself to compensate for the work the Phenobarb has been doing.

He did his routine check of hearing, tracking and visual interest and she passed all with flying colors! We'll see SoonerCare next week to do a developmental assessment on her. Phenobarb has a nasty side effect of slowing brain development and we have noticed it in a few things like reaching and playing with her mirror image.

Dr. Coleman put in the order for her to get a second EEG done in the next couple of weeks. It is normal for a pediatric neurologist to get multiple EEGs because their brains can change, their seizures can change and the brain activity when not in a seizure can change. Rayleigh's last EEG was completely normal which means that her brain acts as any other infant's does when not having a seizure. As much as we do not want our baby to seize, if she does have a seizure during the EEG it helps Dr. Coleman determine what kind of seizure along with where in the brain it is happening.

He also had us go over to the lab and get some blood drawn to do DNA and chromosomal tests to possibly find a reason for her seizures. We'll get the results on the chromosomal analysis within the next couple of weeks and the DNA test will take longer.

The statistics say that 2 out of 3 children with epilepsy outgrow them in their adolescence, Dr. Coleman believes that Rayleigh is still within that statistic because all of her tests are coming back normal and she is responding well to the Phenobarb even with the need to up the dose.

At this point, all we can do is get those seizures under control and do the tests Dr. Coleman wants done to get more answers. Frankly, we hope these DNA and chromosomal analysis come back normal and don't show anything about why she's having seizures so that we're still dealing with something benign.

Here We Go Again

Unfortunately, we are going through a bad time right now with Rayleigh's epilepsy. On Wednesday, September 22, Bug had a seizure when waking up from a nap. We thought, "OK, maybe she had a stressful day that brought on an isolated seizure, we'll call Dr. Coleman if they continue." Then she had another seizure Thursday afternoon. Both of the seizures were under 30 seconds. We immediately called Dr. Coleman's office. He was already out for the day so we spoke with Dr. Norman, the other pediatric neurologist who was on call at the time. She told us that the bloodwork we had done the previous visit showed that her Phenobarbital level was at 30.6, the appropriate level for her age and size is between 20-40 so she was in the normal range. Dr. Norman told us Friday that we had room to bump her up to 11ml nightly. She also said that we could give Bug 12ml that night to jumpstart the dose increase. We were told to still give the medicine 5-7 days to take effect like usual.

Friday she did not have a seizure!

Saturday she had 1. Sunday she had 2. Monday 2, Tuesday 2, and 2 Wednesday (yesterday).

We didn't wait the full 5-7 days before calling Dr. Coleman's office though. We called him Monday morning to let him know about the seizures increasing and he wanted us to go into the lab and get some bloodwork done to check her Phenobarb levels since it had been done a month ago. Then we talked with him on Tuesday after Bug's 6 month well-baby visit with Dr. Albiek. Last month when we saw Dr. Coleman Bug weighted 14 lbs., Dr. Albiek's office weighed her in at 14.6 lbs. Not a major change (She's little like her momma). Dr. Coleman said that her Phenobarb levels actually went up since the last blood was taken because her weight hadn't changed much but we upped the dose to 11ml. Her level is now at 32.

We talked to him again yesterday evening about medicine options since she is still having seizures daily while on Phenobarb. He said that's its hard to tell which way to go at this current point because she had her vaccines done at her 6 month pediatrician visit a few days ago and she was running a low-grade fever. Anytime you're sick, stressed or overly tired you are more likely to seize. On top of that, she got the Rototeq vaccine which is a live virus and can bring about seizures in epileptic children.

Right now we don't have many answers but we are working on getting the seizures under control again. It feels like we're starting over, but at least we have knowledge of what hasn't and what has worked in the past and all of the tests coming back normal.

Today is a good sign, it's 4:00pm and she had not had a seizure at all today. All of the other days she has one or two by this time. She woke up happy from her nap, had a diaper change and ate and now she's playing with her seahorse toy on the floor. Maybe things are starting to look up.

Tomorrow is our monthly checkup with Dr. Coleman.

Zoo Adventure

We take Rayleigh to the zoo often! She absolutely loves her zoo trips. She enjoys being outside in general but then add other people and the animals to see and she has it made! It's a great family thing for Michael and I to do with her and we also like taking her with her grandmas!

Last Saturday Michael went golfing with Gpa so Susie (Lovie) and I took Rayleigh to the zoo for a little bit. We started out by going through the meerkats, red koalas and that row and then hit up the tropical island building. Bug didn't enjoy it inside the humid building so we took her through quickly and then out to the long back deck where the flamingos and tortoises are.

headed from there to the Oklahoma Trails. On our way to the OK Trails we heard some roaring so headed into the Cat Forest. First up we saw a gorgeous tiger pacing by the fence, Bug was starting to drift off for her morning nap at this point. That is, until she heard that tiger start roaring. Loud, powerful roaring. I thought she might freak a little but she really liked it! Then we headed through the rest of the Cat Forrest seeing lots of little cats, snow leopards lounging, another tiger asleep, couldn't find a few like always and then we get to the jaguars. Orange and black spotted, a momma and her 1 year old cub. Rayleigh got to see them play with each other for a little bit before she finally conked out for her nap.

Next we went through the Oklahoma Trails. Our favorite part of the Oklahoma City Zoo! We saw all of our usuals out playing - bobcats, cougars, raccoons, swift fox, badger, brown bears (one swimming & one right up on the glass) and then we headed to the main indoor building of the OK Trails... you know, the one that you can see the brown bear on one side and the black bears and otters on the other side? First thing we do when we get inside is change Bug's diaper (the joys of parenting!) and then she's hungry. Luckily, I had pumped a bottle that morning and was prepared; good thing because this building was busy! We're walking through quickly and Lovie is feeding Bug and a bench opens up near the exit doors so we go sit there so Bug can eat. We're talking away and don't really notice but a crowd is ganging up around the door.

Suddenly, there are over 50 people in this building and no one is leaving. Right next to us there is a zoo official telling the crowd that a chimpanzee has gotten out of his exhibit and into the dry moat that surrounds his exhibit! This exact issue happened the previous Monday and Lovie & I were just talking about it on the way to the zoo! It's kind of hectic and I'm searching the crowd to see if there's someone who might need the bench more than I do. Kids are playing, babies crying, mom's looking stressed, dad's looking upset and grandparents looking like they just want to go home! And then there's Lovie & I just sitting there playing with Bug waiting it out.

Luckily this only lasted about 30-45 minutes and then they let everyone out. It looked like over 100 people leaving this building all at the same time!! The zoo official said, "The issue is not resolved but it is no longer a threat." I would like to know when it was a threat if the issue is the same? Oh well, it was a new zoo adventure for Bug!

Garden Party

We have recently joined OPAT. OPAT stands for the Oklahoma Parents as Teachers program. We are in the Putnam City division. OPAT provides many educational tools in helping your baby have fun and learn at the same time! Part of OPAT includes parties where all members bring their children to enjoy a day of fun! Also, your parent educator meets with you monthly to show toys that are appropriate for that age, see how baby is developing and help with any questions you might have. Our dear friends, Luke & Candace, introduced us to OPAT (thank you!)

August 20th was the first party of the year, outdoors and garden themed. Michael and I were excited to take Rayleigh and see what the parties are all about! We arrive and are welcomed by the parent educators with open arms. The setup is great - gazebo with books all over, blankets laid out in the grass with toys, bubbles, plants, paint, slides and all that good stuff. Michael and I first head into the gazebo and read Rayleigh some books. Shortly after we got there, Luke & Candace arrive with Maddie, Rayleigh's best friend. So we all hang out under the gazebo for a little bit and then the activities begin. The main one being a small flower pot that Rayleigh puts her hand prints (and feet in her case) on and then plant some greenery in to take home.

We had a great time playing on the blanket outdoors. Rayleigh always enjoys being outside, especially when there's so much to see... like other kids!!

Another highlight of the party was Rayleigh feeling sand in her toes for the first time. There was a huge sandbox and Michael thought it would be a great idea to stand her in it. We had no idea how she would react but she really seemed to enjoy it! She kept cooing and even flashed a couple smiles at the other ladies checking her out. Adorable. Then we took her over to these huge buckets full of water with kiddie watering cans which we used to clean the sand off her feet.

Once it was time to leave we received door prizes of seed packs, information for gardening with your little one and a Bendon Bear book! We'll be seeing Marilyn, our parent educator, for the first time in the next couple weeks and I can't wait!

Neuroligist Follow Up

Today Rayleigh had her 5 month follow up with Dr. Coleman, her pediatric neurologist. He pretty much just wants to see how she's developing, how she's doing on Phenobarb, answer any questions we may have, check her reflexes, make sure she's tracking and get her weight.

Yesterday, at 5a, Rayleigh woke up with a seizure. It was heartbreaking. More so than usual I think, because Michael and I were really hopeful that she was outgrowing them as Benign Neonatal Seizures (that are outgrown from 4-6 months old).

When we first arrive the nurse weighs her in at 13.9 lbs. Last month at her visit with Coleman she was 13 lbs, 2 weeks ago at her pediatrician's visit she was 13.5 lbs. Dr. Coleman said that he would like us to go ahead and bump her up to 10ml. 1.) Because she has had 2 seizures in the last 2 weeks, 2.) Because she has gained weight and 3.) Because her metabolism is become more efficient at digesting the medicine. He ordered blood work to check her current Phenobarb levels at 9ml since he thinks they might now be lower than the normal range.

Next, Dr. Coleman assessed her development. He watched her track a toy and make eye contact with him. He used a metal tuning device to make sure she follows sound. He held her to see her neck, back and leg strength. He felt her soft spot and flat spot on her head. He used a light to check in her eyes and mouth (got a kick out of her when she puckered up to the light and then tried to lick it!) and lastly he checked her reflexes. He said that everything he can tell is progressing perfectly normal but if we have any concerns we can contact SoonerCare and they will come to our house and spend an hour or so with Rayleigh and check her development for free. He said this to us because we were asking a lot of questions about her development for her age being on Phenobarb which is known to slow motor skills or mental development if the levels get too high. Luckily, this is why Dr. Coleman stays on top of her Phenobarb levels and doesn't just throw out a high number dosage that will stop them for sure.

We declined on the SoonerCare offer for now because we have joined OPAT and our "parent educator" will come by monthly to do the development assessment. But that's another post for another time.

We asked Dr. Coleman, "Since she had one yesterday morning and she's now 5 months old is it looking like she does NOT have Benign Neonatal Seizures?" His answer, "The chances of her having benign neonatal are smaller now that there's only a month left for her to grow out of them. BUT, I still think there is a big probability that they are benign seizures that she will grow out of during her infancy. Meaning, anytime from now until she's 1 year old. What I would like to do is keep her on the Phenobarbital to treat the seizures and watch her. If she goes 3-6 months without any seizure at all we can take her off the Phenobarb to see if she's outgrown them." So again, we are left with a waiting game.

Dr. Coleman said that he has only seen 3 or 4 patients that have had benign neonatal but has had several infants that grew out of their seizures within the first year.

One thing that kind of got Michael and I worried was hearing that some children that outgrow their seizures young CAN have seizures come back again, usually brought on by puberty. He said he couldn't really give us a percentage or anything because there haven't been enough studies on that fact yet. Course of action for that scenario is to treat the seizures with an anti-convulsant again. Then, those seizures may or may not be grown out of again.

Also, when Michael was holding Bug so that I could take notes Dr. Coleman was checking her reflexes and watching her take in her environment and he was just kind of thinking out loud while assessing and said, "I notice here that she seems to be clinching her fists. Does she do that often? How hard does she clench them?" I answered that she doesn't really clinch them tight at all and it doesn't really seem that often. It seemed like she was just doing it in his office because she was cold. And then Michael got a little bit freaked out and asked what that means that she's making a fist and what we need to do and all that. Dr. Coleman said, "I'm sorry, I wasn't saying that with the intention of worrying you two. I was just noting that her hands have been closed more today than normal. It can be a sign of slower development mentally. But I don't think that's the case here at all because she's not clenching tight at all. Normally it's an issue when they close their fists really tight and won't let you open them. With her, I can barely touch her hand and she opens them. Also, she opens her hand sporatically and babies with that issue do not open them on their own." So that eased my mind but Michael is watching her hands like a hawk.

So overall we got some new answers, whether we like them or not, like she probably doesn't have benign neonatal, most likely has some form of benign because all tests are normal, developing normally, stress from Wednesday night (teething AND gas) caused the seizure yesterday, and we'll hope that she goes seizure free from here on out so we can wean her off the Phenobarb in a few months.

Phenobarb levels. We take her over to the Main Lab in Baptist Integris. We've also had her blood drawn in the ER there and in a different DLO lab in Baptist but had bad experiences both places. We don't blame them though, babies have small veins! We go to the Main Lab because she's been there 3 times before and they always get her with the first stick and get enough quickly. Well, this time was a whole different story. Rayleigh was already tired, she wouldn't take her morning nap, she wanted to play with Dr. Coleman instead. We go in, Bug lays on the bed, I soothe her and Michael holds her legs. The two ladies begin looking for the best vein. I'll admit, Bug's vein were impossible today. They normally get the best out of her left inner elbow or right hand. They tried to find one on her left inner elbow but you couldn't see a thing. I see a little purple spot on her right inner elbow and point it out to them so we flip Bug around for them. Well the younger of the 2, obviously new, holds Bug's arm all funky so the older can band it near her shoulder and stick her. Well, she sticks the needle in super far and all the while Bug is screaming, then she begins wiggling the needle around for a while trying to hit the vein. She sees our faces and gets the needle out. She then goes for Bug's hand, pricks this small little vein, misses, wiggles, gets out. Flips Bug around, starts tapping Bug's other hand, rubbing, tying, folder her hand down, the works. She gets one tiny one to pop up pretty well and is about to stick the needle in but the younger one isn't holding Bug very well and she wiggles and got poked in the middle of her hand! The older lady gets the younger one to hold her better and then attempts AGAIN... misses, leaves the room hollering for another lady. This lady comes in with her needle, folds Bug's arm, pricks the vein in her hand and gets the blood so quick.

Bug has epilepsy. She has a higher chance of having a seizure after being stressed. This was very stressful on her. I'm worried. Hopefully we soothed her enough after (I fed her and Michael bounced her to sleep) that it won't affect her. In the end, they got the blood they needed so that we don't have to take Bug up there again tomorrow to get it. Let me just say this, it is not fun to watch your daughter get pricked with a needle. It is not fun to watch your daughter bleed. It is not fun for them to poke her 4 times and fail. It was a not-fun experience for all who were involved.

So right now all we can do is treat the seizures with the Phenobarbital and hope to never see another one ever.

She's a strong girl and we love her so very much. More every minute every day.

Meeting Their Neice for the First Time

Rayleigh has a ton of people who truly care and love her. Unfortunately, there are some who are not as close to Bug as we would like. Geographically, that is. My mom, younger brother and younger sister (all of whom I am super close to) live in Florida now. My mom was here in OKC for Rayleigh's birth but had to get back home after a few days :( My brother, Charlie, and sister, Sierra, had never met Rayleigh. They had heard her cries or coos in the background when we're all on the phone but with them in school we would just have to wait a few months until summer break.

Towards the end of July Mom brought the kids here to meet little Bug! It hadn't even been a year since the last time I saw them but MAN how they had changed!! I saw pictures of them throughout the school year but they couldn't really show the difference I suppose. Charlie, now 14 years old, is such a teenage boy. A guy's guy who plays football, texts girls nonstop, and wouldn't been seen in the mall walking with his older sister (me) and a baby stroller! All this aside, Bug drew him in like a magnet. He is already a wonderful uncle to her!

Sierra, who turns 9 tomorrow, already acts like a teenager! On Mom's cell phone all the time talking to her girl friends back home. Dressing up, doing her hair, playing the Wii, putting on makeup, playing on her iPod and arguing. Those are the things she would be doing if she wasn't playing with Bug... which she was most of their trip.

Which brings us back to my mom, Rayleigh's grandma. My mom would get Rayleigh and hold her and play with her for all of about 5 minutes before one of the kids took her away to play on her mat or sit on their lap. Poor Mom. I think she maybe got to hold Rayleigh for a total of 1 hour the entire 10 days they were here.

It was so great to have them here and for Charlie and Sierra to meet their neice who they so obviously adore. We tried to get out and do things that we normally would do but it was just too stinking hot for a lot of things! We took them to the zoo, to hike Martin Nature Trail Park, bowling with Uncle Dan, swimming at GPa's apartment's pool, and shopping at the mall. But other than that, we mostly stayed in and hung out! We would hang out at my house where they were staying or we would go over Aunt Debbie & Uncle Dan's house (Mom's sister and brother-in-law). It was so great to all get together like that. Just like old times.

Aunt Debbie & Rayleigh Bug

Uncle Dan with Bug

Charlie's "Seriously? You have the camera out AGAIN?!?" face.

And then time went by too fast like it usually does and it was the day for them to leave. I must have cried 15 times. Just knowing that they won't get to see Bug on a normal basis like the other grandparents and aunts/uncles breaks my heart. I'm thinking of getting a webcam for my laptop so we can maybe at least do some video chat... right now all we do is phone, e-mail and send pictures! I'm hopeful that someday down the road they will move back home to Oklahoma and we can all be together again because it was the best week of the summer by far!!

I love you, Mom. Rayleigh is doing so much better and I can't wait for you to see her again! Give the kids hugs for me, I'll call Sierra tomorrow to wish her a Happy Birthday!!!

As of Lately...

There hasn't been a new post on this blog in over a week; that's because there hasn't been any new news to report. In Rayleigh's case, no news is good news! Rayleigh has been seizure-free since August 5th. Which equals out to be almost 2 weeks ago!!

We had a scare a few nights ago though. Rayleigh woke up from a nightmare making a horribly scary, but very short, squeal. When Rayleigh's seizures start she makes a similar squeal, locks up, eyes turn to the right side and then the twitching begins. None of that really happened at all, but she did open her eyes and stare for about 5 seconds and then she went back to sleep. I guess because Michael and I are on high-alert we are so worried about every little thing she does now. But it's so obvious that the Phenobarbital is working!

It's just awful having to give our sweet baby girl 9ml of medicine every night. She just doesn't like it. BUT, forcing the medicine upon her every night is soo much better than her having a seizure ever again! And she's gotten much better about taking her Phenobarb. My mom bought us this neat MedBottle. We had tried a couple different medicine dispensers for babies including a pacifier and and a small bottle one but neither really worked because the medicine would get caught around the rim. Well, the MedBottle that my mom got at Walgreens is so awesome because you put the syringe right into the bottle and you squirt the medicine directly into the nipple so you never have to mess with the rim or anything like that and she takes it better from the MedBottle each night!

So, yeah, no seizures in almost 2 weeks!! This Friday is going to be a busy day! Rayleigh has a Garden Party for OPAT, then she gets the rest of her 6wk shots since we're so behind, and then dinner with Lovie & GPa (Michael's parents). We will be so tired that night that we should all 3 sleep like babies! Pun intended.

Speaking of sleeping, Rayleigh has been co-sleeping all night the last few nights. She's in bed right next to me now. She would occasionally co-sleep with us after her 3a feeding so it's not that new to her but now it's all night. We decided to do it because she is outgrowing the bassinet that is next to our bed and I'm just not quite ready for her to sleep in her own room yet. I know, I'm a crazy mom. But especially being a breastfeeding mom, it's just so much easier to have her in bed with me already when she's ready to nurse. It's so much more than that though. It's just wonderful to have her there with us and for her to wake up and have us right there for her and she sleeps so much better and I could go on and on about what we love about co-sleeping! It's not like we're going to keep her in bed with us for years and years to come. Plus, she takes all her naps in her room. My good friend, Candace, was just telling me about some other great benefits of co-sleeping like the reduced risk of SIDS and that studies show that babies who co-slept with their parents are more likely to open up to their parents as teenagers! It's so cozy. She just sleeps on her back in between Michael and I.

In other news, our Bug has been eating jarred baby foods! We will introduce a new food and have her eat just that food for 3 days and then take a 2 day break before starting a new food. This helps identify any food allergies. If you switch foods, do a vegetable and then a fruit and then a vegetable, etc., it helps keeps the child from getting a preference on just wanting fruits or veggies. So far we have tried bananas, carrots and now we're on pears. She absolutely LOVES carrots!! It's so fun to see her reactions to all the different foods. She likes bananas but not when mixed with rice cereal and breastmilk. But she's the opposite with pears, she prefers them mixed.

We're just living our lives one day at a time enjoying each phase in her life :)

Bug's Birth Day

I am starting this blog to share Rayleigh's journey with our family, friends and anyone else who cares. Rayleigh is now 4 months old.  Our baby girl has epilepsy so many of these posts may be about our struggle with that. We do not let her epilepsy define her though. She is otherwise perfectly healthy! She is very smart, alert, fun, happy and developing right on track (if not a little ahead!) This first post will describe her birth :) A wonderful day for all of us!


Rayleigh was due on March 28, 2010. I was induced on March 26th because my mom, who lives out of state, would be in town the 27-30th. We wanted to make sure that she would get to see her grandbaby!


My husband and I arrived at the hospital at 8p and talked to my OB for a minute before beginning the induction. He asked when the last time I ate was and I told him it was 6p and he said we could do a c-section in the middle of the night if I wanted. He was joking... I think! We began the petocin on drip at 9p on March 26. By 10p I was already beginning to have contractions. I was only 2 1/2 cm dialated when I arrived and still not really effaced at all, and Rayleigh was pretty high up in my belly for someone who was about to make an appearence in the world! But the petocin got to work quickly and though I was able to sleep through the contractions for a few hours they began to get more and more painful. I wanted to tough it out and put off the epidural as long as possible so when the nurse asked at 4am if I wanted it I told her I'd like to wait. Well, that changed in just 2 short hours. The contractions were INTENSE so I asked the nurse to check how far along I was and I was 5-6 cm dialated and 80% effaced so I asked for the epidural! Oh, and did I mention that the nurse broke my water when checking!?! On "accident". haha! After the water broke, the hour I waited for the anethesiologist felt like days! He was worth the wait. The epidural hurt much much worse than I was expecting and I felt sooo much better after having it that I was able to sleep for another hour or so.


At 9a they inserted the cervadil and family started arriving, anxiously awaiting their first grandbaby. Suddenly I began to feel the contractions again, bad, so the nurse called the anethesiologist back in to top off my epidural and I had to keep changing the side I was laying on because it would go numb from the epidural! Having our family there was wonderful. It kept us from looking at the clock every 5 seconds and was just nice to have those we love with us.

Then between 11a-noon the nurse said "lets start pushing" so everyone except Michael left the room and we began pushing. I'd bear down and push for 10 count then breathe in and do it again, 3 times then break until the next contraction. We did this a few times and then I heard "Oh! I see a lot of dark hair!" After a few more sets of pushing the nurse decided that our baby girl would get to a certain point and then go right back up when I would breathe. Awesome. Oh, and she was upside down - a "stargazer" as Dr. Goff would call it. So the nurse had me lay in this wierd position on my side with my top leg up in a brace for an hour because I suppose it helps flip the baby over. So family got to come in and see this attractive position for the hour and help the time pass!


The nurse comes back in, family goes out and it's game time. We do a few more sets to get Rayleigh closer, she's trying to flip her over gently (I have no idea what's going on down there thanks to the magic of the epidural!) and then the doctor comes in... but not just the doctor, a whole slew of people! People are getting the baby table ready, blue sheets of paper going everywhere, a lady throwing a swaddle blanket on me, people putting more stuff on this tiny table for the doctor than I can register and another nurse. I have my husband on one side of me encouraging me and feeding me ice-chips and my nurse on the other olding my foot and encouraging me. Then I have my doctor, Dr. Goff is awesome. He really pushes you to push! He had to use the "kiwi" vacuum to get her past the point that she kept going back up at and then I pushed her. At one time I remember him saying something about getting her out past her ears... then Michael looks down and sees the beginning of his baby girl for the first time! I was exhausted and felt like giving up, or taking a break, or trying again later but I knew that was soo not an option so I pushed through... literally. In the longest minutes of my life, we got the head out and I was able to breathe for a minute and then POP, the whole baby is out. "IT'S A GIRL!!" "CONGRATULATIONS!!" is going on but all I can focus on is this amazingly beautiful baby girl on my chest.


Perfectly colored, full head of hair, the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Mine. We created her. She is ours. Instant love. Michael cut the cord and family came back in to meet the newest addition to the family.

Rayleigh was a little hesitant to come out, and a bit stubbon... probably gets that from her dad. But we are so happy and blessed to have her here and can't imagine our lives without her now.